PFA 001: ARE YOU LIVING BY DEFAULT OR INTENTIONALLY
The Prepare for Awesome Podcast
PFA 001: Show notes
In this first episode, I will also be talking with you about default verses intentionally living your life.
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I also give you an outline of what the show will cover going forward, what the philosophy is which drives this show and some of the outcomes I would like to see from the show.
Over the course of the next few months, I will be sharing ideas with you which I believe will give you the tools and tips to help you become the best you, you could possibly become. I will share with you some personal experiences and some of the experiences of other people to inspire you and I will encourage you to develop internal motivation to grow and become the person you can become.
The philosophy behind the podcast is driven by the stories and testimonies of thousand and even millions of ordinary people who have risen by their choice above the level of their circumstances, transformed their lives and become the best they can possibly become.
There is one further thing I would like from you and that is for you to spread the word about this show and the best way to do that is to head over to iTunes and gives the show a positive review. Now obviously I would like you to give it a 5 star review, but I would appreciate your positive review regardless.
If you don’t know how to do that, I will put an explanation in the show notes, a link to which will be below this audio track. So please leave me a review as it will help get this information out to more people. Thank you in advance for that.
Most people live their lives as if it is something that happens to them. They are a victim of their own life. If something goes wrong, it is always someone else’s fault.
They live their lives as if they have no control over anything that goes in their lives. They come at life from that disempowered place. Daily existence is driven by fate or luck and if you are not lucky then you are born into the wrong family or at the wrong time or you live in the wrong country.
If plans go wrong or sales teams don’t reach target, these people blame everything, but themselves. It’s the environment, its the government, its the sales manager, its the quality of the leads. When they are past up for promotion, their boss is to blame.
The problem is always out there. They react to life and live by allowing circumstance to dictate their daily lives. They live their life by default. Stuff happens to them and they seem to have no way of dealing with it.
Maybe you can identify with this way of living?
I think it was Rick Warren who said, ‘You are going to go through life either by design or by default.’
Living by default could also be said to be living a life of mediocrity or living a life of quiet desperation. Its that, ‘Going along with the crowd and never standing out’ kind of place.
You may have no meaningful dreams or if you have dreams, have no plan of ever reaching them. In other words, you have sky castles that you can never reach.
If you have a dream and a plan, you are not taking the consistent action which will get you to your dreams or you are not taking the right action which will get you there. You give up too early when it gets hard and challenging. You change the result when you realise the effort it will take to get where you want to be.
Your default is to give up when the going gets tough.
What about you happening to your life? What about you happening to your circumstances? What about you living your life intentionally, with determination and with purpose?
People say to me, ‘But you don’t understand Vic. That is that way I am. Its the way my father was. Its the way my mother was. Our family is made this way. I am just made this way.’
Not true my friend. Not true.
Because you see, I have been there. I spent much of my early life blaming my father for how things turned out when I did not get the promotion in the Airforce I thought I deserved.
You see, my father was an incredibly clever man when it came to anything mechanical, but he was an alcoholic. A litre of brandy a day type of alcohol. This made him physically and verbally abusive toward me, but toward no one else in the family.
I blamed the school rugby coach and his short-sighted view for not picking me, when I had not train well enough to make the team. Fact is, I did not have the talent many of the other players had.
I blamed the government for the political decisions they made for my back and neck injuries, when in fact it was just life that happened. I blamed the company I worked for when I could not pay my bills. They didn’t pay me enough, when in fact I over spent.
You have the choice to change just about everything about you and your life. You don’t have to live by default. There is not rule book in which your life is cast in the concrete slab of default, mediocrity or average. That book does not exist.
For me, it was over the period of a few years that I made very conscious efforts to change my thinking and then life began to change. And believe me it is an ever ongoing process. It is easy to slip back into those old ways.
So no, you don’t have to live life by default. You can live your life intentionally, by design, on purpose.
The question is how? How do you live intentionally? How do you live by design? How can you know your purpose and live a live driven by that purpose?
Before answering these questions, it is important to recognise life. And the fact that life happens. What I mean by that is, there are things we have no control over which happen to us and these things happen every day. You’re driving along the road on your way home from work and some drunken moron crosses the center line in the road and crashes head-on into you. That is something you had no control over and yet it happened.
So life will introduce you daily to things you can’t control. Loss, struggle, blessing, love, physical or emotional pain and physical or emotional suffering.
I remember several years ago, playing around at Christmas with a friend’s kids. We were knocking a balloon around the room and I went to hit the balloon at the same time as my friend’s son and our hands collided. Nothing happened to his hand, but the way in which it happened left me with a dislocated finger which has healed badly. That’s life.
It not fate, destiny. Its not my fathers fault, nor is it the governments fault. It is life. And so life happens.
There are probably 20 things I could suggest right now, but I want to give you the one big thing. That one thing that most everything else rides on.
And that is mindset. Mindset is really the way in which you think about everything and for people who live by default, there is almost an unhealthy focus on the word ‘set’. There thoughts and ideas are almost set in stone and they seem unable to break out of those thoughts about all manner of things.
Now don’t tell me you don’t speak to yourself. Right now that voice in your head that is saying, ‘I never speak to myself,’ is you speaking to yourself.
So what is it you say to yourself, either verbally or in your head? When something goes wrong with a project you are working on, do you say something like, ‘This always goes wrong’ or ‘I never get this right’? OR do you say something like ‘That did not go well. I will do better next time.’
What I am asking is, are you being intentional with your thoughts about yourself or are they just the same old record playing over and over again?
So my challenge to you is, until the next episode of the show, to conscientiously and actively checking your thoughts about yourself and ask yourself the question, ‘Is this thought or these words I am speaking to myself about me, true?’
For me, it has been a long struggle to overcome the words of my father, ‘You are so stupid’. That creeps into your mind language and you keep reinforcing that idea every time something you do doesn’t work. And before you know it, it is part of your mindset.
So that it for this episode. Thanks for listening. It has been great chatting with you today and look forward to doing so again in the next episode.
Again it would be great if you would go over to Apple iTunes and leave us a review. 5 Star reviews help the show to grow and get it out to more people. So if you would, that would be great.
Thanks again for your time today and I look forward to chatting with you on the next episode where I will again share with you ideas, tips and tools to help you become the best version of yourself you could possibly be.
Have a great day. And remember to be awesome today.
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It would be great to have you leave a review on iTunes and if you already know how to do that, then click this link to take you to my iTunes Podcast page or you can access it directly in iTunes on your PC, Mac, iPhone or Android device.
It would be great to have you leave a review on iTunes and if you already know how to do that, then click this link to take you to my iTunes Podcast page.